


A last breath and a new beginning

by sssssssim



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 21:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13326630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sssssssim/pseuds/sssssssim
Summary: When it becomes clear that Leia isn't going to live much longer, Rey wants to get in touch with her son. His answer is not what she expected.





	A last breath and a new beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So Leia dies in this. You have been warned. I also made myself cry while writing the first half of this fic. Be prepared. It's still somewhat of a fix-it fic, tho.  
> First time writing anything star wars related. I don't know that much about it, really, but I have fallen into a reylo hole and I can't get out, so. Here you go.

It’s been months since what was left of the Resistance fled Crait on board the Millennium Falcon. Months of hiding, running from the First Order, trying and failing to come up with a plan to destroy it.

It’s been months since Rey saw Kylo Ren.

It took her a few weeks after closing the hatch on the Falcon to realize that she shouldn’t have been able to see him. If their connection was, indeed, formed by Snoke, then it should have died with him. It didn’t, and Rey didn’t know if she was glad for it or not.

Usually, she didn’t like the thought of Kylo Ren getting into her head. But now, on this day, she felt like she needed to get into his.

¤

Ever since her trip into outer space, Leia’s health has been slowly but surely deteriorating. They were all working themselves exhausted, but the General was clearly taking hit after hit.

And she was a stubborn woman, no matter how hard Rey and Poe yelled at her to go rest, she never did. She pushed through her obvious exhaustion and flashes of pain, worked till she couldn’t anymore, till she collapsed in the arms of Finn or Poe, who were taking turns at being her personal bodyguard.

In the past two weeks, her condition worsened drastically. Leia didn’t get out of bed anymore, survived only with the iv the med droids connected her to. She still gave orders and put her tactical mind at work, but not in the past two days.

The last order General Organa gave was to Poe. She ordered him to lead the Resistance as well as she knew he could. As he held her hand, Leia smiled and closed her eyes, falling into a restless sleep.

‘It won’t be long now’, the med droids kept saying. Rey didn’t need the words, she knew it, she _felt_ it. As clear as she felt Luke passing’s, as sure she was that Leia didn’t have a lot of time left.

She hadn’t seen Kylo Ren in months. She hadn’t said his name out loud in almost as long. She thought about him every day.

Leia called her son’s name, in her sleep, and any wall Rey had put up, it shattered completely.

¤

She went to the makeshift war room they had, calling for Finn and Poe. She grabbed Chewie personally, and BB8 beeped its way into the room as well.

Needless to say, once everyone’s eyes landed on Rey, they all grew concerned.

‘If this is a meeting to organize the funeral…’, Poe said gravely, clearly angry.

Rey shook her head, steeling herself as best as she could.

‘I’m not aware who else knows, but, Poe… do you know who Kylo Ren is?’

He frowned at her, deeply, and Chewie made a wounded sound.

‘Ben Solo’, Finn sighed, making Poe turn to look at him with wide, shocked eyes.

It didn’t last long, before he turned back to Rey, speaking slowly.

‘Leia and Han’s son… killed Snoke. And now leads the First Order.’

Rey nodded. ‘That’s not all.’

‘Of course it isn’t’, Poe sighed, sitting down on a nearby chair, urging her with a complicated hand gesture to go on.

‘Leia knows, but… I haven’t told you everything.’

Taking a deep breath and resolutely not meeting anyone’s eyes, Rey told them the entire story. Discovering their bond, touching hands on Ahch-To, Rey running straight to him, Ben killing Snoke. Fighting together, the exhilarating power that came from it, the balance. The disappointment she felt when Ben didn’t leave with her, the disappointment he felt when Rey didn’t stay with him.

‘You actually thought’, Finn whispered, ‘he was going to turn.’

‘I did’, she nodded. ‘I still do. So does Leia, she always thought-‘

‘Rey’, Poe interrupted her not at all gently. ‘Why are you telling us now?’

She faltered, but Poe knew her answer anyway.

‘You want to … call him, or whatever. You want to tell him Leia’s dying.’

Rey managed to find enough strength to look up at Poe. She expected him to look angry, but he didn’t. If nothing else, Poe seemed understanding.

‘Could you do it?’, he asked slowly. ‘You said you haven’t talked to him since-‘

‘You cannot be serious’, Finn hissed. ‘He doesn’t deserve-‘

‘He doesn’t’, Poe agreed. ‘But Leia does. And so does Rey.’

Finn turned to look at her, then, some sort of understanding slowly taking over his features. She felt ashamed, inexplicably, but pushed the feeling down in order to go on.

‘I can do it, I’m sure I can. And I can… I can make you see him, too. You don’t trust me around him’, she couldn’t help but wince, ‘so you should be able to see him.’

‘You know why we don’t trust you around him?’, Poe raised an eyebrow. ‘Because since you started talking, you never once called him Kylo Ren, you always called him Ben.’

Wordlessly, Chewie pushed Poe. Not hard, but enough to make the armrest of his chair push to the man’s side.

‘Fine!’, Poe kind of yelled. ‘Do it.’

Rey looked to Finn. He didn’t like it, but he nodded as well. ‘If you’re sure…’

She was. So Rey sat down, closing her eyes and focusing on the Force cursing through her blood, and on the bond she had with Ben.

When she opened her eyes, he was sitting on the other side of the table. He was dressed in loose black clothes, hair messy, dark circles under his eyes. He gasped, leaning back in his chair.

‘Are you hurt?’, Ben asked pretty desperately, hand coming up to his chest. ‘What are you-, what’s wrong?’

Instead of talking, Rey closed her eyes again, expanding Ben’s field of vision. He froze as his eyes landed on Poe and Finn, and something shattered in him when he saw Chewie leaning against the far wall.

And then BB8 beeped aggressively, making its way to his legs while calling Ben an ugly Hutt refrigerator. The insult made absolutely no sense, but it did make Ben look incredulously down at the droid, somehow calming himself a little.

Still, when his eyes moved back to Ray, there was hurt in them, beyond the confusion. No anger, though.

‘What are you doing?’, he whispered.

‘Leia is dying’, she said slowly. ‘She’s been deteriorating ever since Crait and it’s… it’s not going to be long now.’

Ben said nothing, eyes roaming quickly all over her face. He was breathing heavily and his fists were wrapped around the armrests of the chair. Rey could feel his hurt, constant and unforgiving in his chest, but it didn’t spike when he heard the news.

Rey frowned, especially when he didn’t say anything else.

‘This is a courtesy’, Poe said pointedly. ‘That you don’t deserve, but Rey insisted.’

Ben’s eyes moved to Poe. ‘You’re in charge?’

The other man bristled, glaring angrily, but he did nod.

‘Good’, Ben whispered, turning back to look at Rey.

The room was silent for a few seconds, Ben trying to say something in Rey’s mind, her keeping him away. She couldn’t handle secrets anymore, not now.

‘Okay then’, Finn clapped his hands, coming to stand by Rey’s side. ‘You can go now.’

There was a flash of something; Rey saw a very brief image of Ben’s surroundings. She fought to catch on to it, and she did. Ben was on a space ship, an old one, clearly not one of the First Order’s. The cockpit was terribly small and Rey sort of recognized the planet he was orbiting.

‘Ben’, she breathed out. ‘Where are you?’

He smiled, a little thing. ‘One short hyperjump away.’

Poe cursed, Finn aimed his blaster straight at Ben’s chest and Chewie took a step closer to them.

‘Ben’, Rey tried to start strong. ‘Explain.’

He ran a hand over his face before he started taking.

‘I left the First Oder two weeks ago. I’ve been running since then, hiding my tracks and keeping them away.’

‘You left-‘, Finn spluttered.

‘How do you know where we are?’, Poe demanded.

Ben turned to him. ‘Maz told me.’

‘She betrayed up?’, Poe was obviously hurt.

Ben shook his head. ‘You forgot who I grew up being.’

It took a while for Finn to ask what that meant.

‘I only made my way to Maz when I was sure Hux wasn’t on my tail. She… she knew I was telling the truth so she told me where you are.’ He shrugged. ‘Well, she said she’ll tell me if I beat her at chess.’

‘You beat her at chess?’, Rey couldn’t help but smile.

Ben pulled a face. ‘No, I’ve been trying to beat Maz at chess since I was 5.’

‘This makes no sense’, Poe said with faked calmness. ‘Why the hell would you betray the First Order?’

Ben sighed. ‘You won’t understand.’

‘Try me’, Poe glared.

‘Please’, Rey felt the need to say, and Ben nodded at her, but looked away after.

‘Hux wanted to blow Jakku to pieces. In spite, because he thought it would hurt Rey. But he motivated his choice by saying the planet has oddly high nativity levels and the galaxy has no use for children that won’t be raised to be Stormtroopers.’

Ben took a deep breath. ‘I couldn’t let him do it, I couldn’t imagine all those children-‘

‘It hasn’t stopped you before’, there was disgust in Finn’s voice.

‘I know’, Ben looked up to him. He said nothing else, but his eyes moved to Rey, again, making Finn huff.

‘We have informants’, Poe suddenly said. ‘If what you said is true, if you left two weeks ago, if Hux was suddenly the Supreme Leader of the First Order, we would have heard of it.’

‘Not if Hux kept the information for himself’, Ben nodded. ‘The troops trust my judgment, they hate his. It’s in his best interest to hide my betrayal. Give his orders under my name.’

‘But you said the First Order was after you’, Poe pointed out.

‘Hux was. Personally.’

Poe rubbed at his face, sighing deeply. ‘It’s too flimsy.’

‘Hux’s cruelty was not the only reason you left’, Rey found her voice, knowing the truth even if he hadn’t said it yet.

Ben shook his head. ‘I felt her. Two weeks ago, something happened.’

Rey nodded, pushing information at him, of Leia collapsing and being moved to the infirmary.

‘Snoke taught me to severe the connection I feel to my mother. But in that moment’, Ben looked back to Rey, ‘I couldn’t do it anymore.’

She understood it, she felt it, as clear to her as it was to him. The fear of never seeing Leia again, the pain of knowing she was going to die, the regret of leaving her in the first place.

‘I don’t believe a word you say’, Finn said coldly.

He put a hand on Rey’s shoulder, making her shiver. Chewie said her name, and Poe turned to look at her, as well.

‘He’s not lying’, Rey said with certainty.

‘How do you know that?’, Poe quickly rebutted.

She tilted her head and looked at him. ‘I feel it.’, her hand went up to her chest.

That shocked the room into complete silence.

‘Look’, Ben said slowly. ‘I know I can’t be redeemed. I have to pay for my actions, and I’m sure the Resistance will swiftly sentence me to death. I accept that. I even welcome it.’

Rey’s breath caught at that, the thought as terrifying as it was probable.

Ben closed his eyes, struggling against the impulse to look at her, even if she knew it was what he wanted to do.

‘Let my mother see me one last time’, his voice shook. ‘Don’t do it for me, do it for her.’

Poe said nothing.

Ben wet his lips and even though it took a lot out of him, he took a shaky breath and said a very soft ‘Please.’

Finn’s fingers tightened their hold on Rey’s shoulder, and BB8 said _sad_ , a very mournful sound.

‘Damn it’, Poe whispered, before he straightened his back. ‘We won’t shoot you down from orbit, but don’t think for one second that I’m going to let you out of my sight.’

‘Of course’, he nodded once.

Ben then turned to look at Rey, his expression instantly softening. ‘I’ll see you soon.’

Her heart fluttered at that, and considering the way the corner of his mouth angled up, Ben probably knew it. He was gone between one blink and the next.

‘I can’t believe you fell for Kylo Ren’, Poe was looking with pity at Rey.

She shook her head. ‘I didn’t fall for anyone. If I would have’, she looked away, blushing furiously, ‘it would have been for Ben Solo.’

 _Like father, like son_ , Chewie all but laughed, as he made his way out of the room. Rey couldn’t help but smile.

Her heart was still beating wildly, and her chest hurt because of the upcoming loss, and she was anxious and excited and everything was a mess. But at least she will get to see Ben again.

¤

True to his word, Poe didn’t shoot Ben’s ship out of the sky. He didn’t order their entire force to train their blasters on him, either. But he did insist on being the one to escort Ben around their makeshift facility, and Finn was quick to join.

So they were there, when Ben stepped out of the ship. Rey forgot all about Poe and Finn, about the First Order, the Resistance, the world around her.

Ben’s outfit was very simple, cloths harshly sown into shapes resembling clothes. They were black, sure, but they were rumpled and his trousers had mud stains at the hem. He had a leather belt on his hips, that held his lightsaber and a short knife.

His hair was longer than Rey remembered, falling in messy curls over his shoulders. There was stubble on his chin.

His eyes were shining.

Rey’s legs moved before her brain did, and she found herself standing in front of him, closer than she should but further away than she wanted.

He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by the sound of a blaster being armed. She didn’t need to turn around to know that Poe’s blaster was aimed straight at Ben’s head and that Finn was glaring daggers.

Ben tilted his head, acknowledging and accepting the situation. Not once looking away from Rey, he once again tried to get in her head, and she once again stopped him.

‘Don’t do that’, she said strongly. ‘We’re right in front of each other, you can talk to me directly.’

He raised his eyebrows. ‘We’re right in front of each other. I didn’t think it would happen again.’

Despite herself, Rey smiled. She bit back any and every response she had. Instead, she grabbed a hair tie off her wrist and gave it to him.

‘Perhaps your mother wouldn’t want to see you looking quite like a dirty scavenger.’

And just like that, all playfulness and easiness fell from Ben’s expression, all the joy and excitement of seeing her left his chest. Feeling his pain, mirrored by her own, Rey gently placed a hand on his chest, right over his fast beating heart.

‘You’ve come this far, Ben. Don’t stop now.’

He closed his eyes at that, but he also took a deep breath and straightened his back, urging her to take him to Leia.

Poe snickered as Ben awkwardly pulled his hair back into a tail at the base of his neck, and Ben responded by mumbling some not nice words, but it only made Poe snicker harder. They went back to ignoring each other soon enough and really, Rey thought it was a good outcome.

¤

It hurt Rey immensely to see Leia like this, asleep in an infirmary bed, surrounded by white, face pale and hair out of the braids, fawned dully around her head. It was getting hard for her to talk, but she still pushed herself to do it.

She was frail, and almost gone, looking as far away from a Princess as she ever had.

Rey started crying the moment her eyes laid upon Leia. She wasn’t the only one.

In her chest, Rey felt her pain. It was a well known friend by now, and it was quickly joined by Ben’s pain, twice as strong, as hateful, as cold and desperate.

His steps faltered right as the door closed behind them, making Poe and Finn stop as well, but Rey didn’t. She didn’t stop until she was by Leia’s bedside, gently running her fingers through the older woman’s hair.

Leia woke up slowly, but she must have been sleeping for a while, because she felt very… there. She smiled gently at Rey and softly said her name. 

‘We’ve got a surprise for you, General’, Rey smiled back. ‘He showed up on our doorstep-‘

‘Like a puppy’, Poe added cheerfully.

‘-and we just couldn’t kick him out.’, Rey went on.

Rey knew the exact moment Leia realized, the exact second she felt her son’s presence in the room, because her life force spiked. Rey felt some strength returning to the older woman, alongside the love she had for her son and the pure joy of seeing him again.

All Leia had to do was whisper Ben’s name. It made him move immediately, long legs carrying him to her bedside in an instant. He didn’t collapse on his knees, but it was a close thing.

Still, Ben had enough control to wrap his finger’s around Leia’s, kiss the back of her hand very gently, and when the woman said his name again, Ben wiped his tears on his sleeves before looking at his mother, smiling wildly.

Rey made her way to where Poe and Finn were waiting by the door, but didn’t leave the room. So she heard everything.

‘You’re here’, Leia breathed out. ‘I’m dreaming?’

‘No, mother’, Ben spoke gently, like Rey had never heard him before. ‘I’m sorry I’m late.’

Leia chuckled a little. ‘You got that from Han.’

‘I did. I got other things from him, as well.’

‘Stubbornness?’, Leia raised her eyebrows.

‘That’, Ben nodded. ‘Bravery too, I got that from both of my parents. Even if it’s stupid bravery, like flying into a Resistance hanger unannounced.’

‘Ben’, her smile fell off. ‘I’m glad you did.’

‘I had to see you and tell you’, his voice shook, ‘I’m so sorry, mother. I’ve made horrible mistakes, and I’ll pay for them, but… You need to know that you were wrong.’

Leia made a soft inquiring sound.

‘You were wrong in thinking there was still light inside of me.’

Rey felt cold all over, alongside a harsh instinct to bash Ben’s head to the floor. But then she looked at his eyes, and they were still warm and filled with love.

‘Mom’, he went on smiling, ‘I had to wait for the light to come find me. And she did.’

‘Rey’, Leia whispered, smiling. Her eyes didn’t move away from her son.

‘Rey’, Ben agreed, making a very hot shiver run down her spine. ‘She saved me from the darkness.’

‘I’m…’, Leia tried. ‘I –‘

‘I know’, he gently cut her off. ‘I know, mother, I always knew. No matter how much darkness was around me and in me, no matter how much blood I put on my hands, I always knew I still had your love.’

A single tear ran down Leia’s cheek, and Ben was quick to kiss it away. 

‘I’m here’, Ben went on. He was crying, but he was still smiling at his mother. ‘I’m with the Resistance, I’m fighting again, for the same cause as you. You can go.’

Leia’s breath had been slowly becoming more labored. She was shaking now, and the med droid in the corner wasn’t doing anything. Clearly, there wasn’t anything left to do, but Ben still held her hand and smiled at her, speaking with gentleness and love.

‘Go, mother. You can finally rest, rest like you deserve. Leia Skywalker, Leia Organa, Leia Solo, Princess, General, mother. Go find your boys.’, he chuckled. ‘Luke and Han are probably waiting for you, beyond the Force, making bets on how long it will take you to get there. Go and stop them, because I don’t know if Anakin and Padmé can take it much longer.’

Rey was sobbing by this point, her cheek pressed to Finn’s shoulder, as he was trying, and failing, to keep his composure. Poe’s blaster hung limply by his side, and he wasn’t even trying to wipe away his tears.

‘You leave me in good hands, mom’, Ben somehow managed to go on. ‘Wait for me on the other side. And may the Force always be with you.’

Nothing else was said.

They kept on crying. Leia kept on struggling for breath. Ben kept holding her head.

When Leia gave her last breath, Rey felt it in the middle of her chest, an empty hole threatening to consume her, more powerful than the darkness she experienced on Ahch-To. She felt Ben’s pain as well, calling to her, stronger than ever before.

She looked at him, couldn’t look away. Ben took a shaky breath as he gently closed Leia’s eyes. He then kissed her forehead, lips lingering on her skin.

And then Ben broke down.

He fell to the floor, putting his head in his hands and screaming. It wasn’t the first time Rey heard him scream, but it was the first time it cut through her heart. In his scream she heard the pain she felt, the desperation and anguish.

When Ben stopped screaming, he was shaking, hard.

Rey moved towards him, instinctively. Finn stopped her, grabbing her by the shoulder, but not saying anything. When she turned to him, she couldn’t help but feel anger. He didn’t understand what she felt, but that gave him no reason to stop trusting her.

‘Let go’, she begged. ‘Finn, let me go.’

He didn’t like it, that much was clear, but he did let go of her, and Rey ran to Ben’s side. She collapsed next to him, and did not hesitate in wrapping her arms around him. It took a few seconds, but Ben did take his hands away from his face. He grabbed a hold of Rey’s arm, pressing his fingers to her skin to the point of pain, and he pushed his face to her shoulder.

Ben cried, still shaking, and Rey cried as well, holding him as tightly as she could, the Force in chaos between them, torn between the pain they were feeling and the respite of their touch.

¤

She had no idea how long they stood like that.

When Ben stopped shaking and his eyes got dry, he pressed a quick and gentle kiss to her temple, not giving her a chance to respond in any way before he got up and helped her up as well.

Finn and Poe were both on the ground, eyes red, blaster forgotten a foot away.

‘I haven’t slept in 65 hours’, Ben told Poe. ‘I need a sedative, and at least 12 hours of sleep.’

‘And then?’, Poe countered.

‘And then you have a choice to make.’, Ben said slowly, looking into the other man’s eyes. ‘Either you take me to a dark room and execute me, or you listen to me. I will tell you everything I know about the First Order. Hux might have changed some things since I left, but he couldn’t have changed everything.’

‘If you do this’, Poe started.

‘You burn the First Order to the ground’, Ben said strongly.

Poe looked a little wide eyed, but he also ordered the med droid to get a room and a sedative ready.

¤

Wordlessly, Rey followed Ben. As he got into bed and the med droid administered the sedative, she made herself comfortable on an armchair by his side.

‘Are you going to stay here?’, Ben didn’t look at her as he asked.

‘I’m not letting you out of my sight.’

‘Because your leader doesn’t trust me.’, he was dripping sarcasm.

‘No’, Rey sighed. ‘Because I still can’t believe you’re really here.’

He did look at her, then, something surprisingly soft in his eyes.

‘I should feel alone’, Ben whispered. ‘My family’s gone. But I don’t feel that way.’

Rey swallowed hard. She knew what he meant, because with a connection like theirs, even if they never saw or spoke to each other, even if Rey was hiding away in a deserted part of a makeshift base on a forgotten planet, she never felt alone. Not really, not as desperately alone as she felt growing up on Jakku, not when she knew he was just a thought away.

She couldn’t answer him, though. Didn’t find it in herself to say the words ‘I know’ out loud. But Rey did rest her hand on the edge of Ben’s bed, palm up, waiting.

It wasn’t a long wait, until Ben wrapped their fingers together. He fell asleep like that and sooner than she thought was possible, so did Rey.

¤

The first thing Ben did when he woke up was to ask Poe to postpone Leia’s funeral until the war ends, arguing that she won’t be able to rest otherwise. Poe was quick to agree, personally placing Leia in a cryopod.

True to his word, Ben told the Resistance everything he knew about the First Order. Every outpost, factory and training facility, complete with an estimation of personnel on site, along with a weak spot or two. He even gave input when Poe and his team were strategizing, talking in great detail about the common First Order strategies and Hux’s favorite ones.

Even though Poe told everyone the truth about Ben Solo and Kylo Ren, Rey was surprised to see that nobody tried to kill Ben. Everyone kept their distance and never addressed him directly, but they didn’t try to hurt him, and when it came to First Order intelligence, they listened to him.

Poe still had guards follow Ben around and stationed in front of his door when he slept.

It took three night of Rey waking up in a cold sweat, head filled with Ben’s nightmares, for her to make her way to his door in the middle of the night, relieving the guards from their post.

Later, she’d find out that the guards all but ran to Poe, who surprisingly enough, authorized it. But at that moment, all she cared about was the fact that Ben and her were both exhausted.

Wordlessly, she laid down her blanket on the floor next to his bed and fluffed up her pillow before lying down. She may have groaned.

Ben was staring at her, caught off guard. Rey had woken him up from a nightmare, but that didn’t excuse the five minutes in which he didn’t move a muscle, staring at her.

‘Really?’, he finally whispered, incredulous.

‘I can’t handle not sleeping another night.’

Ben faltered at that. ‘I didn’t realize… it was affecting you.’

Rey just shrugged at that, closing her eyes. It made him sigh, but it also made him get off the bed and lay down next to her.

‘I apologize’, he whispered very close to her face.

‘You can’t control your dreams’, Rey said easily. ‘But if we’re both supposed to suffer from them, the least we could do is suffer together.’

She didn’t need to see him to know Ben was smiling. He didn’t have any more nightmares that night, and Rey came back the next one.  

¤

After Kylo Ren’s betrayal, it took six months for the First Order to fall.

During that time, Ben grew accustomed to living on the Resistance base, to wear their clothes and their insignia. He strategized side by side Poe, even flew a few missions under his command. He and Finn managed to find a place where they could talk in a civilized manner, even if they only did it when Rey was around.

People started talking to him, their trust growing day by day. They called him _Ben_ and he always answered in a polite manner that Rey knew was a sign of Leia raising him.

Chewie called him _kid_ since day one. Judging by how Ben didn’t bat an eye at it, Rey thought it was a normal occurrence, as he was growing up.

The one time Poe called Ben _buddy_ ended up with the leader of the Resistance hanging upside down from the rafters in the cafeteria. Poe was laughing, though, and Ben looked incredibly smug.

The Resistance fought battle after battle against the First Order, gaining allies on the way, losing very few souls, now that they had inside of the Order’s strategies and resources.

Rey hardly ever left Ben’s side.

She had to drag him to the cafeteria for every meal, because he often forgot he needed to eat. They always sat together and it didn’t take long, for Ben to start giving her his fresh fruit, and for Rey to give him the cakes she didn’t want.

Rey also kept bringing him clothes, which were needed, considering he only came with the ones he was wearing. Sneakily, she got him to wear some color, even if they were just dark browns and blues. He narrowed his eyes at every piece of colored clothing, but ultimately, he did wear them.

Ben asked her to cut his hair. It had gotten pretty long, down to the middle of his shoulders, and even if Rey’s hair tie was still keeping it together at the base of his neck, Ben still spent a lot of time pushing stray strands away from his face. So Rey got a pair of scissors and a comb, and made Ben sit down on a chair in the middle of his room. She tried her best to keep it quick and unimportant, but it wasn’t like that. It was oddly intimate, her fingers running through Ben’s hair, as she untangled it and cut it as straight as she could, as long as he asked her too. It was also a trust exercise, because Rey was wielding a sharp object very close to Ben’s neck, and he trusted her enough to not be scared by it.

Somehow, that moment felt just as important as the moment he joined the Resistance. So after she was done, Rey squeezed his shoulders and told Ben he looked good. She couldn’t help but grin when the tip of his nose and his cheeks turned red.

They started training together, after that. Every other day, he would spar with anyone willing to, while Rey meditated. But the days in between those, they would spar or meditate together, Ben slowly remembering Luke’s lessons and passing them along to Rey.

He was a good teacher, Rey was surprised to realize. He claimed he barely remembered the time he spent at Luke's temple, but it really did not seem like that, from where she stood. Ben was patient with her, not getting angry when she didn’t understand things at the first try, trying to explain it in a different way. What helped Rey the most was the fact that Ben used his own experiences with the Force when he explained something, which Luke never did.

Slowly but surely, she could feel her power growing. Ben had been right, Rey did need a teacher. And, shockingly enough, he was the teacher that she needed.

He needed her just as much. Even if Ben never acknowledged it out loud, even if he never told her, Rey could tell that since they started working together, he was a lot calmer. One of the lasting effects of being Kylo Ren were the fits of rage he had to fight against each time something didn’t go his way, but as the days passed, it became easier and easier for him to control himself.

Each night, they slept on the floor of his room. There were still nightmares, but having the other one close when they woke up calmed them enough to fall back to sleep. Even if they never said a word about it, even if they never spoke of the gruesome memories Ben couldn’t rid himself of, waking up and feeling someone next to them helped immensely.

¤

They were all part of the mission to destroy the last standing First Order outpost. It went up in a bright red flame that filled Rey’s heart with relief and pride.

Hux went down screaming, scrambling away from a red crossguard lightsaber. There was intent behind the blade, Rey could feel it clearly, Ben’s desire to strike Hux down and kill him swiftly.

She said his name, fully prepared to start listing all the reasons why he shouldn’t do that, but it wasn’t necessary. Ben powered down his saber and laughed in Hux’s face, before he used the Force to put him to sleep.

Ben’s laughter died down when he turned around to face Rey. There were flames reflected in his eyes from the burning base beside them, there was sweat on his brows and she could still feel the Force pulsing under his skin.

‘It’s done’, he sounded incredulous. ‘It’s done?’

‘It sure is, buddy!’, Poe yelled, running to Ben and giving him a very quick hug. Too quick, because Ben didn’t react to it in any way.

Poe then hugged Rey, longer, and Finn joined, the men squishing Rey between them, yelling and laughing loudly. They both ran away, to where the rest of the Residence was celebrating.

A few officers came and dragged Hux away, leaving Ben and Rey alone, away from the rest of the people.

Ben still looked shell shocked. ‘It’s done?’

Rey laughed, tears pooling at her eyes. For the first time in what felt like forever, they were happy tears. So she hurried to Ben’s side, wrapping her arms around his neck and pushing her face to his chest.

It was the first time she hugged him since the day Leia died, and it was the exact opposite of that.

Ben wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her feet of the ground. She didn’t doubt him, she knew that he got her, he wasn’t letting her fall. Now that they were at the same level, Rey pushed their cheeks together and that, for some reason, made their bond flare up.

It was like nothing Rey ever felt before. Energy and power, as strong as an exploding sun. Exhilaration and excitement, the same type she felt when she fought side by side Ben, but enhance by the power of a million hyper drives. Pride, so much pride at accomplishing their goal, of getting rid of the evil that was the First Order. Happiness, at having a future in which she could be free.

And underneath it all, love.

A feeling Rey never really understood, not until she met Finn and ran with him.

But this was a different sort of love, a feeling Rey never thought she’d get to know, to understand.

Love for the boy who was holding her tightly, both of them wrapped up by the Force that was connecting them.

‘Please stop crying’, Ben gently said in her ear.

‘I’m crying because I’m happy.’

He grinned, she felt it more than she saw it. ‘Then don’t ever stop crying, Rey.’

She took a deep, albeit shaky breath, as Ben slowly lowered her to the ground. He didn’t let go of her, and she left her arms on his shoulders.

‘Everything is going to change’, Rey breathed out, unable to look away from the fire that was still reflected in his eyes.

‘Yes’, Ben nodded, his eyes moving to something behind her. ‘Everything. And I’m going to be right in the middle of it.’

Rey didn’t understood it, right then. But once they got back to base and Ben was locked away in a cell, she understood full well what he meant.

¤

Ben’s trial took a torturous three weeks.

A council was quickly formed, in the wake of the First Order’s destruction, and most of the men and women on it wanted to kill Bell as soon as possible.

The Resistance fought against it. Poe most of all, but every single person who fought side by side Ben took a stand.

Rey kept silent, for most of it. She needed to be strong, because he needed her strength. The trial took a harsh toll on him, every single horrifying thing Kylo Ren ever did resurfacing with a vengeance. His nightmares were worse than ever before, and Rey tried her best, but there was so much she could do to help.

She was the last one on stand, for the trial. Rey didn’t find the strength to look at Ben as she spoke, but she did tell the story. Not the one of their bond, that was something that everyone knew but never addressed, but the story of a young Ben Solo, sent away by his parents to train with his uncle, the story of Luke’s mistake.

The hall, which held a lot of people, was completely silent as she finished talking.

‘Tragic as it may be’, one of the women on the council said, ‘there is never a good enough reason for slaughtering innocent people.’

‘Yes’, Rey said as strongly as she could. ‘Kylo Ren deserves to die for his actions. But what you need to understand now, is that Kylo Ren is dead. His demise started the moment a lightsaber pierced Han Solo’s chest, and Kylo Ren died the moment Leia gave her last breath. The man being trialed today, he’s Ben Solo. And he fought with the Resistance. He saved lives and because of him, the First Order was finally defeated.’

She stood up, fully intending to go back to her seat in the crowd.

‘Punish Ben Solo’, Rey said slowly, ‘if that will ease your mind. But don’t try to kill him.’

‘Try?’, a very unpleasant man from the council spluttered.

Rey shrugged. ‘We’re the last Jedi. We can’t die, just yet.’

She made her way back to the crowd in the thick silence that followed. She could sense the fear her words ignited in some of the people in the hall, but it didn’t bother her. Not when through their bond, Ben was pushing amusement and gratitude.

¤

Ben was exiled to Ahch-To, to the temple island. He will not be allowed to leave it, not unless the Resistance will require his particular skill set. He will be allowed to attend Leia’s funeral, and then Rey will fly him to Ahch-to.

He was relieved, Rey instantly started feeling the longing she knew will grow worse as the days will pass. But Ben smiled at her, at he was being taken back to his cell. It made her feel the tiniest bit better.

¤

Rey had never been to a funeral.

She didn’t think it was supposed to be this beautiful. Because that’s how Leia’s was, absolutely beautiful. A gorgeous white casket, pretty flowers covering every available surface, everyone dressed in their best clothes.

Rey cried, as men and women she didn’t know gave speeches about Leia’s accomplishments in life. When Poe took the stand, Rey cried through her laughter. And when Ben spoke, very briefly, about the type of mother and wife Leia was, he also pushed his memories into Rey’s mind. She saw him as a young boy, hanging on the back of a young Han Solo, she saw Leia without wrinkles on her face, holding her son as she told him a bedtime story.

It hurt, but even that was beautiful.

¤

As they were loading supplies on the Falcon, Poe joined them. He sat silently and didn’t lift a finger as the two of them put crate after crate on the ship, but when they were done, Poe all but manhandled Rey and Ben to the cockpit.

‘What’s wrong?’, Rey asked, dread settling in her stomach, so strong that Ben put a hand on her back to calm her.

Poe caught the gesture, and blinked slowly for a while, before he shook his head and leveled Ben with a look.

‘You’re exiled to Ahch-To. You won’t ever leave that planet, do you understand?’

‘Yes’, Ben glared, a little. ‘I understood it the first time I heard it.’

Poe exhaled, clearly annoyed. ‘Subtlety is not your forte, is it?’

That confused Ben, Rey as well.

‘While _you_ won’t be able to move off the planet’, Poe said slowly, ‘nobody said anything about other people going to it.’

His eyes skipped to Rey, briefly, no subtlety whatsoever. She smiled, because it was the first thought that crossed her mind after hearing the verdict.

She shared a look with Ben. He looked hopeful, she couldn’t help but look both amused and fond.

‘Not yet, though’, Poe stopped their wordless exchange. ‘The galaxy is gonna need some work, picking itself up after the First Order. And it’s going to need you, Rey, to do some legwork.’

‘I know’, she nodded. She and Poe had discussed it before, and Rey didn’t mind the thought of visiting new planets, even if she was going to be working. ‘But after that’s done-‘

‘You’ll like traveling’, Ben smiled at her. ‘You were made to see the galaxy, not… get stuck on a forgotten island.’

She couldn’t help but feel a little angry. ‘Why can’t I do both?’

‘Okay, kids’, Poe said, placating. ‘Before this turns into a lovers fight-‘, they both glared at him for that.

‘I have a plan’, Poe went on.

‘That’s alarming’, Ben deadpanned.

Poe ignored him, turning to Rey. ‘It was something you said, actually. At the trial, you said you were the last Jedi, and we couldn’t kill you just yet.’

Rey raised an eyebrow.

‘Having the both of you stuck, all alone on an island’, Poe tilted his head, ‘that sounds a lot like death of the Jedi to me.’

He smiled, then. ‘The thing is, though… You two aren’t the last Jedi.’

The ground shook under Rey’s feet, and she would have collapsed if Ben hadn’t grabbed her and sat her down in the pilot seat.

‘I know of at least three kids, Rey.’, Poe smiled at her. ‘Young kids, who make their toys fly to their hands and who feel when their parents are sad.’

‘You want to make a student temple’, Ben sounded incredulous.

‘I’m not sure if we’re gonna call it a temple’, Poe frowned playfully. ‘School sounds better, maybe apprentice program? I’ll think about it.’

‘Are you insane?’, Ben whispered, still not believing. ‘We can’t teach-‘

‘We can’, Rey quickly interrupted, making him turn to stare at her. ‘I mean, I can’t, but you can. You’ve been a good teacher to me, in these past months.’

‘And you could learn, Rey’, Poe said with confidence. ‘Ben can teach you how to be a teacher.’

‘No’, Ben said strongly. ‘I’m not going to strand you on an island. Visiting is one thing, but this… You were made for more than this.’

Rey knew there was no point in arguing with him, not now. The sentiment was noble, Ben wanting her to live a full life, as far away from him as possible. She knew it was an impossibility, Rey knew that she would not be able to stay away from him. But she never said the words out loud, never told him, and he didn’t even dare dream of it.

‘You don’t have to decide now’, Poe said gently. ‘There’s time.’

‘I won’t change my mind’, Ben said strongly.

 _I’ll change it for you_ , Rey thought.

¤

Rey felt disappointed, when she saw the old Jedi scrolls burned to ashes.

‘He said it was time for the Jedi to end’, Rey whispered.

‘He changed his mind’, Ben countered. ‘Because at the end, he told me that he wasn’t the last Jedi. That speaks of… a continuation.’

‘Not of the old ways’, she smiled. ‘Something new, perhaps.’

Ben shook his head, not saying anything more for a long while, as Rey showed him the rest of the island, what she had been able to explore in her time spent on it.

When they got to the huts, the both stared at the ruins of the one she stayed it, the one Luke destroyed when he caught them together.

‘I’ll need to clean this up’, Ben sighed. ‘Luke was always so dramatic.’

Rey had to laugh at that.

She postponed it as much as she could, but she had to get back to base.

Ben was smiling, as he walked her back to the Falcon.

‘I hope’, her breath caught, ‘I hope you’ll be able to… to turn this place into a home.’

‘I have to, don’t I?’, he shook his head, becoming serious. ‘I never thanked you, Rey, because I don’t know how to do that.’

‘A hug would be a good start’, she blushed, but said it anyway.

Ben chuckled, but he did hug her, very tightly. The Force flared between them, and they both sighed in contempt. He kissed her forehead, whispering ‘Don’t be a stranger’, against her skin.

¤

For the next months, Rey traveled long and wide across the galaxy. She saw so many new worlds, things she only ever imagined, she met a lot of new people, learned so many new things.

And after every mission, she flew to Ahch-To and spent a day with Ben. She’d talk about her travels, he’d talk about the changes he made to the island. They’d meditate together for an hour or two, and they’d always hug before she’d leave.

If Rey’s missions got too long, they’d use their bond to talk.

She felt closer to him than ever before.

¤

Ben had been on the island for a little over a year when Rey, after hugging him goodbye, kissed him as well.

It was a quick thing, she was too nervous to manage anything else except a quick press of lips, but it was enough to make her heart beat wildly in her chest, as the Force pulsed around them.

Ben was frozen in place, staring at her with wide eyes.

‘I wish you hadn’t done that’, he said even as he was feeding very different feelings through their bond.

‘Why?’, she smiled.

‘I don’t know how I’ll be able to let you go now.’

Still, she left. Rey had no trouble leaving, because she knew something he didn’t.

¤

It only took her two days to pack her things, finish up the paperwork her superior required and say goodbye to her friends.

When she landed the Falcon on Ahch-To, Ben was already waiting.

‘I could feel you happiness since before you took of’, he seemed confused.

‘We’re going to have some visitors over the next weeks’, Rey easily informed him. ‘Construction crews, mostly, and Poe and Finn are going to want to have a look at the facility after it’s done, of course.’

It didn’t take long for Ben to understand, that Rey will be staying with him on the island, and that together they will train a new generation of Jedi. She could feel that he was set on doing it, on doing whatever she wanted.

‘I wanted more for you’, he breathed out.

‘I just want you’, Rey’s response was quick, paired with grabbing a hold of his hand. ‘And I want us to help these children, made them understand what’s happening to them.’

Ben’s hand was shaking in hers. She gripped it tighter and pressed their chests together, lifting her other hand to his hair. It was getting longer, she’d have to cut it soon.

‘Rey’, Ben gulped, staring into her eyes. ‘How long untill someone else arrives?’

‘Three days.’

He nodded, finally wrapping his other hand around her waist.

‘We have to unpack your things before that, but that still gives us two and a half days.’

She frowned. ‘To do what?’

He didn’t answer, not with words. Instead, Ben pushed his feelings through their bond, excitement, relief and love, so much love, and just as much desire. It made her toes curl and her cheeks flame.

Ben laughed at her embarrassment, an understated but carefree sound that always settled itself deep inside Rey’s heart. He wrapped both of his arms properly around her, lifting Rey off the ground and kissing her soundly.

It was so much more than the chaste kiss Rey left him with. It was everything that has ever been right in the world, it was love and happiness and even though Rey had trouble breathing right then and there, every breath she took felt like something new.

The Force burned between them, it electrified the air and powered the sparks in Rey's chest. A porg was screaming close by. Ben’s hands were warm on her back. He tasted like something sour and sweet, at the same time.

As far as new beginnings go, Rey was ready for this one.

**Author's Note:**

> I just needed to get this out of my system, really. Does Kylo/Ben feel OOC? I think he always feels OOC if he's, ya know... not evil.  
> As usual, constructive criticism is always welcomed, gimme!


End file.
